The Art of Being Gay; another Why thread?

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The Art of Being Gay; another Why thread?

Post by Shiny » Thu Jun 29, 2006 1:40 pm

I was friends with a guy in high school who ended up coming out of the closet after graduation. At first I was shocked because I would have never thought that he was. He talked, walked, acted just like our group of friends that used to throw bottles of coke at people in our off time in 9th grade sell mix cds for 10 dollars to people because no one had CD burners yet. The only difference was that he knew that he was attracted to guys at the time, and only feigned interest in women because 9th graders are little homophobes.

So he came out, everyone was pretty accepting for the most part. Maybe a little shocked, as I mentioned. I mean, I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that he used to watch porn with us in the same room at sleep overs in 9th grade, and he was actually aroused by the guys' meat spinning. But that was a little ignorant at the time for me to think that, as he didn't ever come at us with any kind of sexual uncomfortability, and we were all young adolescents watching porn together and bonding. So what was the big deal? Nothing.

I lost touch with him after high school aside from briefly talking to him on AIM because we went to different colleges.

Then I ran into him at the mall a few months back and he was way different. He had the cliche posture and a heavy lisp. But he still had the same ideas and the conversation that proceeded was comfortable and everything, so it was nice catching up.

I found him on Myspace and now he has pictures up of him with boas on making girly kissy faces at the camera, his shirt off making sexual gestures to other obviously cliche guys, and he takes every opportunity on his myspace information "survey" to mention that he is gay.

And that's where I wonder - why did he change? He admitted that he realized that he was gay all throughout highschool. I mean, he associated with straight people and that's why he felt uncomfortable 'coming out' then, but that didn't change the fact that he really was gay. And that's OKAY I say, and I'm glad to know that he feels secure enough now to admit to everyone that he does have sexual interests that stray from the norm.

But why do so many gay people exaggerate the fact that they are gay once they 'come out'? Is it for shock value? Is it to piss off the straight people who may disagree with their preference?

A lot of people who are gay in my opinion seem to make their sexual preference their IDENTITY. And they adopt all of these stereotypical acts. This guy was gay in high school and he didn't act feminine. Why does he feel the need to act feminine just because he is gay? His predisposition makes him attracted to guys, not yearn to be an actual female. So what's up with the stereotypical "gay person feminine" actions? Is it all a show? Are they trying to promote some kind of awareness? Why is their sexuality their identity? Being gay seriously isn't THAT big of a deal in the grand scheme of things.

Another example is a guy that posts on the BB who used to have a huge signature picture of him making out with another guy, I believe. Why be obnoxious about it?

Do you think that its to purposely make straight people uncomfortable in attempts to get them back for being opressed by those who are homophobic?

I dunno. What do you think?

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Post by Element » Thu Jun 29, 2006 1:46 pm

i care nought as long as they don't touch my ass
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Post by $ayzak » Thu Jun 29, 2006 2:15 pm

A gay person can act straight just like a straight person can act gay. If you were gay in highschool knowing damn well you'd get hammered by a plethera of ignorance, wouldn't you just walk the walk of straightness if you had to?

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Post by poolio » Thu Jun 29, 2006 2:20 pm

Sayzak wrote:A gay person can act straight just like a straight person can act gay. If you were gay in highschool knowing damn well you'd get hammered by a plethera of ignorance, wouldn't you just walk the walk of straightness if you had to?
well put
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Post by Alexnova » Thu Jun 29, 2006 2:43 pm

Yeah I don't understand why someone has to have a complete makeover just to prove they are gay.

There are a few gay people I know who act straight, but are gay.

I just don't understand the identity change, into what you said a stereotype. But unless that's who he has changed into I guess it's hard not to stop him.
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Post by Nate » Thu Jun 29, 2006 3:15 pm

I think the whole lisp and posture thing is partly a mating call. It says,"Hey, I'm obviosly gay just incase you were questioning it." There still aren't many gays in many areas of the country so this is an easy way to detect eachother for possible relationships.

I think it also has to do with popular culture's influence on them. I bet if there was a gay dude somehow on an unpopulated island and there was no one around and he had never had contact with a mass group of people he would not talk, act, and dress that way.

Plus, not all gay people are like this. I used to know a few that were out of the closet who acted normal, whatever that may be.
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Post by Shiny » Thu Jun 29, 2006 4:09 pm

^ good response

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Post by 311Chik » Thu Jun 29, 2006 6:51 pm

I talked to my mom one time about this because of something on tv. I asked if my uncle paul was like that (he died of AIDS in the late 80s/early 90s so I didn't really get to know him). She was telling me how the whole cliche gay thing didn't start happening until the mid 90s really. Back in the 70s/80s all the gay people she knew didn't really have a need/want to rub it in peoples faces that they were gay(and that wasn't just because being gay was frowned upon), they just went on with their lives and kept their sexual lives private. They would talk about their partners but that would be like anyone talking about who they are with, wasn't the topic of conversation unless something was going on. Ofcourse there were the people who really cared and were against it, and there were a few cliche gay people but not to the extent we see now. But this is all what I got from my mom talking to me so I know it was different in different areas.

A friend of mine at college, before I knew he was gay, didn't have any feminine tone to his voice. Once he came out to me and a few others, if he was around us he would have a slight feminine tone but when around people who didn't know he would have the regular tone. Now that he is pretty much out with everyone he has a much stronger feminine tone to his voice.

I really hate the rubbing it in my face that they are gay with the parades and stuff.....but I hate all that special treatment and "look at me" stuff that people do/get whether it be based on sexuality, race, religion, gender, etc. People want equality but that stuff makes them not equal.

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Post by Shiny » Thu Jun 29, 2006 6:56 pm

but I hate all that special treatment and "look at me" stuff that people do/get whether it be based on sexuality, race, religion, gender, etc. People want equality but that stuff makes them not equal.
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Post by CollapsingVisionary » Thu Jun 29, 2006 8:01 pm

i stopped at the jerking off with friends part. sorry.
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Post by Shiny » Thu Jun 29, 2006 8:30 pm

I never said that so keep readin' :!:

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Re: The Art of Being Gay; another Why thread?

Post by CollapsingVisionary » Thu Jun 29, 2006 8:32 pm

Shiny wrote:I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that he used to watch porn with us in the same room at sleep overs in 9th grade, and he was actually aroused by the guys' meat spinning.
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Post by Shiny » Thu Jun 29, 2006 9:13 pm

Yes but I never stated that we actually whipped it out and started whacking off. I was talking about us viewing pornographic films and the fact that he was most interested in the dongs of the video, to which I took the opportunity to reference "meatspin" to hold Jodan's interest if he chose to read this. Read!

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Post by Drums » Thu Jun 29, 2006 9:21 pm

Shiny I seriously wonder the same exact thing.

Sayzack, its not like gay people naturally act like that. If someone can act normal at first, then they change, doesn't that suggest that they are doing it on purpose?

I personally can't stand that shit. If you gay, whatever. Keep it to yourself.
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Post by $lmjimy311 » Thu Jun 29, 2006 10:13 pm

maybe he's always wanted to act that way, in highschool if he was still in the closet and knew that if he acted that way, he would be outed and dint want that, he acted "normal", when he came out, he was able to be free to express himself how he wanted to express himself
...how he got the lisp, beats the fuck outta me
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Post by Drums » Thu Jun 29, 2006 10:15 pm

slmjimy311 wrote:maybe he's always wanted to act that way, in highschool if he was still in the closet and knew that if he acted that way, he would be outed and dint want that, he acted "normal", when he came out, he was able to be free to express himself how he wanted to express himself
...how he got the lisp, beats the fuck outta me
But WHY would you WANT to act like that. Its not like you cant control yourself from acting like that if your gay. Its annoying and unesccesary.

You like that spelling dont ya emily?
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Post by $lmjimy311 » Thu Jun 29, 2006 10:17 pm

Drums wrote:
slmjimy311 wrote:maybe he's always wanted to act that way, in highschool if he was still in the closet and knew that if he acted that way, he would be outed and dint want that, he acted "normal", when he came out, he was able to be free to express himself how he wanted to express himself
...how he got the lisp, beats the fuck outta me
But WHY would you WANT to act like that. Its not like you cant control yourself from acting like that if your gay. Its annoying and unesccesary.

You like that spelling dont ya emily?

yea, but if thats who he is...if gay people dont like the way straight people act, would you become more gay to just please them?...why would they change the way that they act just to please straight people...whether it be annoying or not
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Post by Alexnova » Thu Jun 29, 2006 10:21 pm

I can see what Slm was saying with his first response. Like he stayed in the closet so he didn't have to lose his friends during high school. Then once he graduated, he was basically free and then acted on how he wanted to.

And I'm perplexed on how you get a lisp like that anyway.
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Post by Drums » Thu Jun 29, 2006 10:37 pm

slmjimy311 wrote:
Drums wrote:
slmjimy311 wrote:maybe he's always wanted to act that way, in highschool if he was still in the closet and knew that if he acted that way, he would be outed and dint want that, he acted "normal", when he came out, he was able to be free to express himself how he wanted to express himself
...how he got the lisp, beats the fuck outta me
But WHY would you WANT to act like that. Its not like you cant control yourself from acting like that if your gay. Its annoying and unesccesary.

You like that spelling dont ya emily?

yea, but if thats who he is...if gay people dont like the way straight people act, would you become more gay to just please them?...why would they change the way that they act just to please straight people...whether it be annoying or not
They dont change the way they act to please straight people. they change the way they act from being them normal selves, then they go and act like that. hey dont naturally act like that.
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In every province and city
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Post by Nate » Fri Jun 30, 2006 12:43 am

Anybody ever have a gay dude hit on them? I have.
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