When I'm 23

Shiny · Post by **Shiny** » Tue Sep 13, 2005 4:33 pm

When I'm 23...I'm going to date 17 and 18 year old girls. This is because while I'm having fun now, my brain has trouble growing up and learning to treat girls in an intellegent and respectful way. I simply lack the capacity. This is probably due to the direct fact that I decided not to go to college because I think school is for fags. Highschool was such a waste of time. School work and books got in the way of my Xanax bars and cocaine. The superficial girls loved my rebelliousness at the time, and I would get blowjobs every weekend and order the girls around afterwards. I have mad respect because of my spiked hair, tribal tatoo, big white T-shirt that looks like its wet, eyebrow ring, my slang, and because of the fact that when intelligent peers say something to me, I will simply give them a cold stare to show how intellegence is stupid and for myself to show my superiority.

Therefore, since by the time I am 23, the superficial girls at that time will have grown up and realized that I am just simply a loser and an asshole with a small brain instead of a mysterious and confident chump. So when I'm 23, I will be hanging out in the bars of girls just graduating from highschool with my chest out and give them a snarling smile.

I will fuck them. They will want me because they will think that because I'm older, then I am absolutely better than guys their own age. I'm going to continue to drink all the time and be completely obnoxious with my friends. I will take my new 17 or 18 year old girlfriend out and buy her alcohol. She will love me for this because she really wants to get trashed and be obnoxious with me. One day, I will yell at her about something completely insignificant and leave her in the parking lot at Barnes and Noble while she cries and screams. 15 minutes later, I will come back to her relief, hug her, give her flowers, and tell her something like "Baby, you know you are the only one for me". She will think that I actually mean this, and she will give me a blowjob in the car. Then, for absolutely no reason, I will accuse her of cheating on me. Then we will break up.

I will start all over again until I'm 30, where I'll finally die of liver failure. The end.

GOAT · Post by **GOAT** » Tue Sep 13, 2005 4:37 pm

ahahahaha

Shiny · Post by **Shiny** » Tue Sep 13, 2005 4:40 pm

I edited it for spelling...because I was busy at the time trying to get a job in an obscure factory...so I had trouble paying attention to spelling things correctly.

GOAT · Post by **GOAT** » Tue Sep 13, 2005 4:42 pm

haha, that is the exact opposite of you shiny.

Alexnova · Post by **Alexnova** » Tue Sep 13, 2005 5:15 pm

That has got to be the most funniest thing I have ever read. EVER.

wjf · Post by **wjf** » Tue Sep 13, 2005 7:01 pm

Shiny, you are the funniest mother fucker ever. That was so fucking funny! I was laughing out loud for real. No lol bullshit here, son.

Shiny wrote:One day, I will yell at her about something completely insignificant and leave her in the parking lot at Barnes and Noble while she cries and screams. 15 minutes later, I will come back to her relief, hug her, give her flowers, and tell her something like "Baby, you know you are the only one for me". She will think that I actually mean this, and she will give me a blowjob in the car. Then, for absolutely no reason, I will accuse her of cheating on me. Then we will break up.

That shit was hilarious and also the Xanax bars and cocaine part. hahahhahha

Do kids call them "zanny bars" where you are?

Shiny · Post by **Shiny** » Tue Sep 13, 2005 7:08 pm

Haha, nah...I've never heard em called that...that's a pretty funny name though. Round here, they are known as "Xan bars" or "fuckin' bars". I also know that you are supposedly a pussy if you don't take more than 9.

wjf · Post by **wjf** » Tue Sep 13, 2005 7:12 pm

lol

I don't know what the doses are for Xanax, but 9 sounds fucking insane.

GOAT · Post by **GOAT** » Tue Sep 13, 2005 7:56 pm

haha, you are supposed to take a half of one, a full one maximum

nixhex · Post by **nixhex** » Tue Sep 13, 2005 8:34 pm

SKAbatula wrote:

What in the hell? Talk about outta the blue...

I'm just happy most of it is gramically correct.

gramatically you mean?

mary · Post by **mary** » Tue Sep 13, 2005 9:24 pm

Jorge · Post by **Jorge** » Tue Sep 13, 2005 10:18 pm

Shiny, age 23.

CollapsingVisionary · Tue Sep 13, 2005 10:28 pm

Jorge wrote:

Shiny, age 23.

hahahahaha lol

gramically, hahahaha lol

mary · Post by **mary** » Tue Sep 13, 2005 10:29 pm

mystoneybaby · Post by **mystoneybaby** » Wed Sep 14, 2005 10:19 pm

SKAbatula wrote:
nixhex wrote:
SKAbatula wrote:

What in the hell? Talk about outta the blue...

I'm just happy most of it is gramically correct.
gramatically you mean?
:SMACKS forehead:

That was bad on my part...really bad.

hahahahahah best thing ever! mention someone's mistake and then make the same mistake you mentioned. MUAHAHAHAHA>... happens to me all the time. funny funny business.

Shiny · Post by **Shiny** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 9:51 pm

Why did I post this...

Jesus Christ.

Dave, I wasn't making fun of you... I was bitter about this older guy who took this girl that I was interested in

Shiny · Post by **Shiny** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 9:53 pm

Bumped for an early mention of "xanax bars", though

mystoneybaby · Post by **mystoneybaby** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 10:03 pm

Shiny wrote: I was bitter about this older guy who took this girl that I was interested in

$nipe · Post by **$nipe** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 10:04 pm

Older guys... I'm starting to become one of the older guys. We get all the women, that's the truth.

Shiny · Post by **Shiny** » Thu Dec 27, 2007 10:05 pm

No no no... it's totally okay. This was way back when I was into trashy sluts. Not exaggerating... the really trashy kind. I'll bet that girl is preggers right nah.