Mixing S.S.R.I.'s and alcohol

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$ayzak
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Mixing S.S.R.I.'s and alcohol

Post by $ayzak »

I took SSRI's for 5 years, but I quit. I drank for like a decade (and really heavily for like 3 years) but I quit that too. It's surreal having memories in my head that were seemingly made by bizzaro $ayzak. Some of the things I did, the people I met, and how I interacted with them... it feels like I'm either remembering an impossibly vivid dream, or I am dreaming.

Drinking and taking SSRI's isn't a good combination, but it's hard to know that at the time. I mean, thinking you're invincible, and not caring about consequences are obvious signs that you're about to fuck your life up, but the spiral is addicting. It's like a chinese finger trap for your soul. Only your soul is stuck in the moment, and couldn't care less about how it got there.

I know, I'm not talking about some hard-core, illegal drugs here. I'm talking about prescribed anti-anxiety/anti-depressant medication, combined with booze. Half the people you brush shoulders with during the day are probably on a cocktail of these things too.

The way they eat away at your convictions...
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bcolephases
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Re: Mixing S.S.R.I.'s and alcohol

Post by bcolephases »

I've been on them for years, and yeah, it goes without saying the two don't mix well. I don't drink like I used to though. But There's nothing wrong with having a couple of berrs here and there. It's the hard shit that will mess you up. I've had so many blackouts I can't even tell you. And don't feel bad about having been on SSRI's. Some people really do need them. I hate the stigmas surrounding mental illnesses. I think that alone can be blamed for countless suicides. Thanks for sharing your experience.
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Jordan311
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Re: Mixing S.S.R.I.'s and alcohol

Post by Jordan311 »

hmmm.. interesting. I've never really considered going on any sort of anxiety meds or anything like that but I've certainly had plenty of battles with depression and anxiety in my time. But it's never gotten to the point where I felt like I needed to see a doctor about it.

Later
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$ayzak
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Re: Mixing S.S.R.I.'s and alcohol

Post by $ayzak »

Jordan311 wrote:hmmm.. interesting. I've never really considered going on any sort of anxiety meds or anything like that but I've certainly had plenty of battles with depression and anxiety in my time. But it's never gotten to the point where I felt like I needed to see a doctor about it.

Later
I had never seriously considered it either, until I saw the writing on the wall in one of the most devastating relationships I've ever been in. Once you're on those things, it's not that they're addicting, but they change the way you think and feel about situations you might be in. For instance, on the pills, I could very easily resist the urge to be distracted by a woman's attractiveness, and speak to her any way I want without considering how she might judge me for it. I was the same person -- I just didn't care. In a sense, I became a "cooler" version of myself (in the "I don't give a fuck" sense.) At the same time, though, I didn't care about what I did to myself. I royally fucked my life up and my reaction to it was, "This suck!... fuck it. Whatever. Life sucks anyway." I also gained 30 lbs, which I loved, because I have the metabolism of a greyhound. And I slept better. I've been off of them for a year now and I've lost almost 20 lbs. I only sleep like 6 hours a night, no matter what. And now I'm hyper-responsible. On the pills, I got my license taken away, got pulled over driving without it, went to jail, ended up in the psyche ward, got my license back but drove without insurance, didn't have health insurance, I fucked every woman I could who didn't smell like a dead fish, I drank daily, nearly got evicted, I scared away all my friends, and got fired from a couple of jobs. Inside a year since quitting those things, I insured myself to my ears, got a better job, bought a car, and got an awesome girlfriend. I still have a lot of anxiety, but I'm not depressed. Everything I put myself through feels like a weird bad dream, or like a vision of a life $ayzak is living in a parallel reality. I was far, far more likely to kill myself on those pills than I ever was before or after.

Weird, eh.
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